Mostly Harmless

Next week on Amish in the City: Skydiving.

That should go over about as well as the time they tried to drown Mose by taking him swimming in the ocean for the first time: “Let’s swim out to the buoy!” Yeah, that worked. Dog paddle + ocean = thrashing Amish guy lucky to be alive.

Something that does work is: cute Amish chick - stuffy Amish clothes + yellow bikini. Rumspringa indeed! What I especially like about Ruth is the gleam in her eye and mischievous grin as she explains how whatever she’s planning to do is “very forbidden” among the Amish, e.g. getting her belly button pierced. She’s a rebel!

They’re also taking everyone to a movie premiere next week. Looks like they saw “The Notebook” — not a special effects extravaganza by any means, just a standard talkie, in color.

What I’d love to see is a trip to “I, Robot.” Tell ‘em it’s a documentary and explain that “that’s why we had to get rid of all the robots.” ‘Star Wars’ and ‘The Matrix’ would also be excellent “documentary” choices.

In the “house” (*cough*mansion*cough*) they have a handful of Amish kids and a handful+1 of City kids. Most of the City kids are insane — especially the vegan, Ariel. You can’t take that chick anyplace that has real food or animals. You’d expect her to go nuts at a butcher shop but the poor bastard at the aquarium is probably still reeling from the interrogation he received vis-a-vis the happiness of the sharks in the tank. Also she thinks cows must come from another planet. The Amish think that cows make good steaks and didn’t give a rats ass about the happiness of the sharks. Score a couple of points for the Amish.